Ander de saya
There is that Ander de Saya Bill going through the legislative mill in the Lower House. Whether it will become a law is anybody’s guess. The fact that there is such a bill is testament to the fact that there are many battered husbands, cowering in fear whenever their wives shouts with dagger looks to boot, even in public. Such women usually control the economic means of the family. About 15% of Filipino husbands belong to that group.
The good thing is that the bill also addresses abuse against lesbians, gays, queers, transvestites, etc. As of now only women and kids are protected by RA 9262, the law against violence on females and children.
Our point, however, is the staggering number of members of the takosa or takot sa asawa group. This might be the reason the Philippine economy is not picking up. If you were born yesterday, we have long ago become ASEAN’s basket case.
If a husband cannot even stand up to a wife, how can he have the guts to battle economic difficulties and socioeconomic and political hindrances to start a business or any other kind of firm and be his own boss? In this respect, majority of Filipino men are gun shy or do not have the balls to be entrepreneurs or to establish their own professional firms or other money making outfits.
Many of us are averse to taking risks, particularly economic risks. We, by and large, have the employee mentality. Even those so called highly educated appear never to have heard the adage, “no guts, no glory.”
There might even be more women who are gutsy in taking the plunge to establish their own money-making outfits and thus, invariably, become the bread winner of the family. And will the husband’s becoming ander de saya be far behind?
In defense, such husbands take to vices like drinking and drugs for their situation is too painful to face. Others take to gambling. All of these can lead to broken homes or families. Or if they can still manage to remain together, the kids will often have to struggle in the future against psychological aberrations due to the lack of a strong father figure during their formative years.
Too bad there is no course in school to teach men how not to become henpecked husbands.
What many stronger men can do is just to grab an ander de saya in the arm, shake it violently, and loudly say, BE A MAN! **