By Estanislao Albano, Jr.
By way of ushering in 2017 which I am afraid will be very toxic, please allow me to lift some light materials from my Facebook Wall. With the holiday atmosphere still upon us, I do not see any compelling reason to plunge into serious action right away. Happy New Year everyone!
THE JOKE THAT MADE MY KIDS LAUGH
Like I told you before, I could not make Pia Ursula and Aglaia Marie laugh. They usually dismiss my jokes or attempts at wit with “Corny” or a sarcastic “Kakatkatawa iman” (Yes, it’s really funny.) It is only once in a blue moon they acknowledge that their father could be funny at times and one was last night while on the way home from Manila.
They were discussing the preparations being made for the forthcoming wedding of their cousin Jeng Oliveras with Aries, Jeng’s brother. When the subject of the wedding organizer came up, I quipped: “Apay awan ngata ti wedding organizer nga agprovide met laeng iti groom?” (Are there no wedding organizers who provide the groom also?)
They could not repress their laughter this time. To give you an idea why, Pia Ursula is a bit older than Jeng and Aglaia Marie is just a little younger than Jeng and the only time they talk about weddings I have heard so far is when it is that of others.
ON DISCIPLINING KIDS
I was reminded of my hands off policy as a father when the girls were kids a while ago when Aglaia asked what practices I took from my father and what I did not.
Me: Daydi lolom agbaot. Siak saan. (Your lolo disciplined with the rod. Me I didn’t.)
Aglaia: Ay kasta? (Is that so?)
Me: Ngem agbabbabawiak tatta a diak dakayo binabbaot idi. (But I now regret not whipping you.)
Aglaia: Mabalin pay met tatta — ken manang ko. (You can still do it now — to my sister.)
I never used physical punishment on the girls. The joke of my brother David was that I did not know how to count because when I warned the kids when they were misbehaving I would shout “Maysa” (One). They still misbehave, I would yell “Maysa” again. And so on. I never got to two according to my brother.
Going back to the conversation:
Aglaia: Uray sa met laeng ni mama saan dakami binabbaot. Diay sa laeng matana ken ngiwatna. (I guess even mama did not beat us. I guess it was just her eyes and mouth.)
EXEMPTED FROM WASHING THE DISHES
Aglaia Marie and cousin-in-law Shirley Pekas were doing the dishes during the house blessing of their uncle James Pekas Jr. a while ago when their cousin Bryan Pekas, a new lawyer, went near them.
Shirley: Exempted dagiti attorney ditoy. (Attorneys are exempted from washing the dishes.)
Aglaia: Wen, exempted ti attorney ditoy. Isuda ti agugas ti kaldero. (Yes, attorneys are exempted from washing the dishes. They will wash the pots.)
BROTHERS KARAMAZOV
This joke did not sell with Pia and Aglaia but you be the judge.
Some two years ago, I bought the novel Brothers Karamazov written by Russian novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky for Pia . She’s been reading it since then but due to her work schedule and other things to do, still has to finish it until now. She brought it home these holidays.
Me: Di met tallo dagidiay Brothers Karamazov? (Isn’t it that there are three Karamazov brothers?)
Pia: Wen met, pa. (Yes, pa.)
Me: Kayatmo saoen panggep pay laeng idiay dua ti nabasam agingga tatta? (You mean up until now you have only read about two of the brothers?)
**
