By Penelope A. Domogo, MD
The past weeks have been filled with occasions – graduations, alumni homecomings, family reunions, weddings, special church activities, etc. Many schools are on vacation and there are the holy days (Holy Thursday and Good Friday) which are special holidays in the Philippines. Many of us have been to these occasions as a matter of duty (your apo is graduating so you have to march with him or your neighbor is getting married) or curiosity (to see your high school crush if he is as cute as you thought him to be) or just because you anticipate the joy of being with family, friends and relatives or churchmates. No matter what reason you have for joining these activities, these occasions offer immense opportunities to be updated on the status of those you meet and correct the chismis you heard about them and likewise update them on your status. Like, “Are you retired already?”… “Nope, I am not that old”.
These occasions also offer immense opportunities to learn new things like in one church wedding ceremony I attended, I learned about the agave americana. Bishop Edward Malecdan underlined the importance of patience in marriage by comparing it to agave americana. This plant stays low, about one meter high or less, for many many years then near the end of its life, it sends out a tall branched stalk that could reach 8-9 meters high. This plant could live up to 30 years. Patience… patience…. It pays to listen to sermons, you know. You are never too old to learn to be patient. And because of this article, I googled internet and saw that agave americana is maguey pala. This branched stalk is statuesque with its yellow flowers. Yup, one is never too old to learn.
Harvard Women’s Health Watch says “Social connections like these not only give us joy, they also influence our long-term health in ways every bit as powerful as adequate sleep, a good diet, and not smoking. Dozens of studies have shown that people who have satisfying relationships with family, friends, and their community are happier, have fewer health problems, and live longer.”
“Conversely, a relative lack of social ties is associated with depression and later-life cognitive decline, as well as increased mortality. One study, which examined data from more than 309,000 people, found that lack of strong relationships increased the risk of premature death from all causes by 50% – an effect on mortality risk roughly comparable to smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and greater than obesity and physical activity.” (published December 2010)
A 2013 survey by the National Bureau of Economic Research of 5,000 people found that “doubling your group of friends has the same effect on your well-being as a 50% increase in income”. Wow! Perhaps this is why Filipinos are generally happier than other nationalities.
It is not how many friends we have that matters, though. What matters is the quality of our relationships. One study found out that midlife women who were in highly satisfying marriages had a lower risk for cardiovascular disease compared with those in less satisfying marriages. Hmmm…. I would like to make a study of our Igorot women. Other studies have linked disappointing or negative interactions with family and friends with poorer health. A large Swedish study of people ages 75 and over concluded that the risk of dementia was lowest in those with a variety of satisfying contacts with friends and relatives. Calling on senior citizens to keep attending to your social obligations and when you go to these activities, please discuss with your friends so you won’t fall asleep.
Of course, the inquirer in us want to know why is this so? What is in relationships that make us healthy or not? Well, we don’t need to do a research to know that such social connections relieve stress. I mean, supportive relationships help us a lot. Try talking to a friend about your problem and you feel relieved – it is as if you transferred some of the burden to that friend. (So try not to burden your friends so much.) Stress can adversely affect coronary arteries, your stomach, insulin regulation and the immune system. Try eating when you are very worried and you can have tummy ache or diarrhea. Supportive relationships releases the happy hormones in our bodies to make us feel good. When you feel good (gawis), your blood vessels will relax thus letting your blood flow freely and your other muscles will relax and you feel…. relaxed, of course. It’s a cycle.
What’s even more amazing is that, according again to the Harvard Women’s Health Watch, “evidence suggests that the life-enhancing effects of social support extend to giver as well as to receiver.” I believe so. It’s good karma. So next time you are invited (or even if you are not invited if you are a friend), go & attend with a joyful spirit and strengthen those social bonds.***
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