By Jan Vicente B. Pekas
In middle school, I had classmates who were always the butt of jokes. The kid who walked a bit differently than the other boys. The one who wasn’t into sports like those who would run around the basketball court any free time they were given. Even the boys who formed friendships with girls were considered an outcast. At that time, your core identity, that which you were born with, the way you act with pure authenticity was not accepted, it was only acting and speaking like the other boys or being bullied into conforming. Denying your own self and shoving it into the closet was the way to survive inside the classroom.
The boys who liked pink were shamed. Others would ask why the colors black, gray, or even white weren’t their favorite. What would drive them to select such colors, they would often blurt out in the middle of their laughter.
Conformity was the name of the game. It was that or face the wrath of teenagers and their devious ways to break down a person’s character. Yet, throughout all that dullness and same old boring habits enforced in the classroom, year after year, I would see the same kids strut the same way they always did, play board games inside the classroom, form meaningful bonds with anyone they liked, wear pink shirts, and without hesitation confirm their likeness for the bright colors of the rainbow. They did get treated as outcasts but not without resistance for their own identity. In that room where most talked and acted like the other, the outcasts always stood out in their pure joy of being able to live without acting, to love others unapologetically.
At the current time, I think of who is the happier person, the one who denied himself for the sake of conforming or the one who never left their heart wanting, who had enough courage to let love dictate their lives and let love choose their lovers.
Courage and love. Both go hand in hand. Without the other, courage gets lost, unable to reach the broader goal. Love without courage becomes yearning that does not get to bloom into the beautiful flower it should be. The person who chose love and had the courage to act on it is the happier one.
There is always something to learn from others. Even the kids back in middle school, they taught me about taking pride in the things they genuinely loved despite the ridicule they endured. In this month of June, as the LGBTQ+ community marches down the streets, let us not look on with disgust nor anger. Instead, we can all learn from this group that has been, for most of history, been discriminated against. That to love without shame is something that is worth struggling for and is one of the secrets into living a happy and fulfilled life.
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