By Roland O. Balingan, Jr.
In every family, there will always be your titos and titas. Some of them you are familiar with, and others, you have yet to meet.
I remember as a child that I assumed at one point they always have money as I occasionally asked money from them, and they always had some to spare. When I received money from them, I was quite the happy child as I spent this on snacks at our nearby sari-sari store.
Now that I am of adult age, I have noticed that one of my uncles is still unmarried after all these years. To my surprise, he is already 37 years old. Because of this, my family pokes fun at him by calling him “Ba-ak” from time to time.
Sometimes I wonder if some men forget or never bother with their current age since I find myself taking some time to think of my age when asked.
Then again, I am curious why some individuals choose to be unmarried even when they are financially capable. So, I asked around my family who are still in touch with their friends or acquaintances who are unmarried and asked them the reasons why.
The answers I have received follow. “Even if they are financially capable, some are unmarried because they are married to their careers”. This maybe a reason why they never had time to interact with members of the opposite sex and form relationships with them due to the intensity or demands of their jobs. Another reason is “they face difficulty in interacting with members of the opposite sex”. A reason I can think of is the possibility of fear or trauma from their previous relationships or due to shyness which might have been caused by factors which find their roots during their childhood or adolescence. Some other reasons mentioned were psychological incapacity and religious reasons. Be that as it may, their reasons for being unmarried are their personal decisions. It is, after all, up to them on how they choose to live, and I only hope the best for them.
I should also mention that being unmarried does not mean a lonely way of life. Some live alongside or are visited by their nephews or nieces and even treat them as their own sons or daughters. The term “unmarried” does not have to be viewed negatively.
After all, marriage itself is a commitment and a responsibility. As December is slowly closing in, family gatherings are in motion, and soon the titos and titas, married or unmarried, will have to deal with their nephews and nieces. To those of you reading, I wish you good fortune or best of luck in hiding.**
