By Atty. Antonio P. Pekas
In the US, their family reunions usually happen during Thanksgiving. They all troop home for that, clogging airports and other mass transport systems.
It is like Christmas for us. No matter how impoverished we are, we somehow are able to obtain some cash for the trip home.
And reflecting how our values have deteriorated, we idolize relatives who come in flashy cars or with bulging pockets and would pay for the lechon and the expensive alcoholic drinks. Their names would reverberate around the town long after the celebrations. “Finally, I was able to taste a Blue Label because he graced our reunion.”
It does not matter if the person had stolen his money from government coffers.
I used to receive expensive drinks as gifts from clients during this time of the year. I would just give them away to friends and relatives. Now, the “supply” ran out because they now know that I don’t drink. The red wines I now receive are on account of this paper. They often come with spaghetti ingredients, etc., for the Christmas or New Year party.
In the US, they found out that psychiatrists were having a brisk ‘business’ after the reunions. Many were suffering from all sorts of psychological or psychiatric conditions. So they go to their psychiatrists which we still consider appalling. In our backwardness, we think that when somebody goes to a psychiatrist, he is already crazy or is fit for the mental hospital. We would find the matter funny, until a relative or a loved one commits suicide. Then we realize that professional help should have been sought earlier.
The reason for that US phenomenon was many of those Americans had met their siblings and close relatives and engaged them in quarrels or shouting matches due to long festering gripes or inheritance issues. These can get really bad especially if the cause had been long covered up and never expressed. Sometimes the covering up or holding off was considered a matter of respect to a parent. And when that parent dies, boom!, the animosity explodes.
We all know that when siblings or close relatives quarrel it is really bad. More so amongst us Filipinos due to our emotional nature. It would even extend to the children. I know of one who banned his children from attending the birthday parties of his brother’s children because of an inheritance issue with the brother. Why should the children be involved? They are cousins, close relatives, and had nothing to do with the quarrel..
As we lawyers always say when we try to settle cases among siblings, “napudot ta agkabsat da gamin.”
Another kind of case where no objective conversation can be had is between husband and wife. It can really be nasty.
I once had a Filipina client who married a foreigner in London. They came to the Philippines to settle down. Then the guy fell in love with another woman. So we threatened him that we will cause his deportation which would leave all their properties to the wife, our client.
The lawyer of the guy was a classmate of mine in law school and he called me up to have a meeting to amicably settle things. I asked my client if she was agreeable and she appeared cool about it. But when we all sat down at the table in a restaurant somewhere in Makati City, my client started screaming at the guy and tried to kick him under the table. It was good that we did not yet order anything. Otherwise, she could have thrown a glass of water or a plateful of food at the guy.
Thus the brisk business of psychiatrists.**
