By Atty. Antonio P. Pekas
Death in any family is always painful.
Thus we were shocked when we found out about the death of Dr. Fedelina P. Suanding, the wife of my nephew, Dr. Ray Pekas Suanding. Their last child who is still in Grade 11 will bear the brunt of the pain. In my book, it is emotionally more painful to lose a mother than a father. For the love of a mother who, as rightly said, is the light and warmth of a home, could not be replaced. Not even by a very loving father whose masculinity will always surface or prevail.
The departed was also a doctor who was an OB-GYNE specialist. Coming from Mangaldan, Pangasinan, she got educated up to high school there. She finished her pre-med course in UP Baguio where she must have met her husband, Dr. Ray, as he is called in our clan.
The only very small thing that makes her departure a bit lighter for us, if you could call it that, was her having battled her medical problem for about a decade. Perhaps it was God’s plan for her to rest from the struggle against medical aberrations of her lungs and other internal organs. In a way, the struggle must have prepared her loved ones regarding the coming of the unfortunate date when she would be freed from having to be sustained with oxygen not through natural means even while in the car; when she would be freed from medicines and other medical measures to keep her earthly existence going.
So the day came last November 7.
She leaves behind three daughters.
Kelly Ann Suanding, is also now a doctor, going through her internship at BGH where her father is a department head. Like her parents, she finished her pre-med course at the UP Baguio.
Her second child, Marianne P. Suanding, finished BS Travel Management at UST. She graduated cum laude.
Her last child, Reena P. Suanding, is still in Grade 11 and was chosen as an outstanding student.
The kids should have enough brains to be able to navigate through life’s complexities and tribulations. But losing a mother is not about the ability to go through life. It is about losing a loving parent with all her love that cannot be replaced.
Surely the kids will be OK. A strong anchor for them should be their grandma, my elder half-sister, Manang Dominga Suanding, who lost through an accident their mother when she was in first year high school or the equivalent of Grade 7 now. A nurse by profession, she is still very strong at 82. Anybody who reaches that age would be a repository of wisdom on how to deal with life.
For the same reasons, their grandma on their mother’s side will be equally of great help to them.
After overcoming the pain of their loss, the children and their dad will realize, as we all do regarding painful incidents, that God with his infinite wisdom loves everybody and that anything that happens is not an accident but an incident of His overall plan.
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