By Rev. Canon David B. Tabo-oy
“… .But at the beginning of creation God `made them male and female.’ 7`For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate…
… v13Some people brought children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples scolded the people. v14When Jesus noticed this, he was angry and said to his disciples, “Let the children come to me, and do not stop them, because the Kingdom of God belongs to such as these. v15I assure you that whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God like a child will never enter it.” v16Then he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on each of them, and blessed them.” (Mark 10:7-9, 13-16)
Marriage and children in the family of God. These could be the more profound meaning that Jesus tries to communicate to his listeners in our gospel lesson this Sunday. This is as significant to us today and impinges to where we are in our family relationships and our family to our God as well. Jesus used the question about the legality of divorce in teaching what marriage should be. And to underscore the divine purpose of marriage took a child as an example of our understanding should be of such purpose. If we have such comprehension we would then connect our marriage, our children, our nuclear family to God’s own family.
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In the days of Jesus, the Mosaic Law of divorce was hotly contested and debated among interpreters of the law. Technically, a man could divorce his wife only if he found an “indecency” in her. The conservative school of rabbis taught that an indecency was some form of sexual sin. On the other hand, the liberal school believed that an indecency was anything that displeased the husband: gaining weight, having no male children, even poor cooking.
This controversy is lurking in the background when the Pharisees ask Jesus his opinion on divorce. In substance, Jesus says to the Pharisees, “God handed down the divorce law as a concession to your hard heartedness. If you want to know God’s true will regarding marriage, then look in Genesis where it says that a husband and wife become one flesh. What God puts together, no one should separate.”
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Jesus clearly believed that marriage should be lifelong covenant. Jesus would have no patience today for those who divorce because each partner can’t have his or her own way, or they have “fallen out of love,” or greener pastures beckon. Divorce is one more symptom of the depths of human sinfulness. But what about the husband who forgives his wife seventy times seven, and the marriage only gets worse? What about the wife who goes the second mile – the second thousand miles – but circumstances only deteriorate? If a woman abandons her husband and children, must a man remain bound in a marriage which is no marriage? Must a woman remain in a physically abusive marriage? Surely that is not the will of God. These are extreme cases, of course, but not as rare as we would wish.
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We must interpret Jesus stern words on divorce in the light of his whole message. Two aspects of Jesus’ ministry bear mentioning. First, Jesus spent his whole ministry struggling against legalism. In this very short story, the Pharisees ask Jesus about legality, but Jesus speaks instead about God’s will. Sometimes the law’s letter may contradict the spirit of the law.
Second, Jesus came into the world to forgive sinners. We have all fallen short of God’s hopes for us. It is a very bad habit to convince ourselves that the sins of others are always worse than our own. A broken marriage may be no more serious in God’s eyes than a broken relationship between brother and sister. A public divorce may be no more sinful than the adulterous fantasy nurtured secretly in the heart.
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I do believe that divorce is never God’s perfect will for us, but in extreme situation divorce maybe God’s circumstantial will for us –the lesser of two evils. WE must not succumb to loveless legalism. Somehow we must hang onto Jesus’ high standards for marriage, and still offer forgiveness and acceptance for those who do not live up to those standards. We should not condemn those who are divorced – but we must also be party of protecting any marriage and to help out when any marriage is threatened by divorce.
We are called to be faithful to one another as God in Christ has been faithful to us. To be faithful – as we all know yet sometimes fail to do is to LOVE. Love is not something we FEEL; love is something we DO. Love is always a choice, though not necessarily an easy one. The choice of loving actions is far more important than the warmth of loving feelings.
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We may hinder our children from coming to Christ by living a hypocritical life—speaking like a Christian but living like the world. Another way in which we might hinder our children from coming to Christ is by failing to show them the love and mercy of the Lord Jesus, that He is compassionate and forgiving and willing to restore us when we confess our sins and return to Him. What Jesus means is that in order to enter the kingdom of God a person must have the trust and dependence that is characteristic of a little child—a trust and dependence upon Christ. Jesus is not referring to some supposed innocence of a child, for we are all born in sin and need the forgiveness only Jesus can give.
Let us pray.
Most loving God, from whom every family in heaven and earth takes its name, we are thankful that you have not created us to live life alone. We thank you for your gift of the sacrament of the Holy Matrimony wherein man and woman are joined together as one – to be partners and helpmate. We thank you for parents, grandparents, and relatives who nurtured us in the days of our youth. We thank you for partners and loving friends who bless our days with the intimacy and understanding. For the wonder and joy of children, we offer our praise. Show us how to love each other as you have loved us, and by your gracious Spirit help us to keep every holy covenant, in Jesus’ name. Amen. **
