By Estanislao Albano, Jr.
WHY PEOPLE DO NOT REMEMBER
There was a little misunderstanding between Franklin Regacho and myself when he visited the office a while ago. It emanated from the banana on my table one of which he ate. When I asked him what’s new, he started with the sad story of the monkey and the turtle that had something to do with bananas — that point where the monkey threw the turtle into the river and to catch the turtle, the monkey bribed the frog with the bananas left to drink in all the water of the river. I suspected he made that bribery part up since try as I may, I could not recall any instance of bribery in the story of the monkey and the turtle.
Me: “Saanko malagip dayta kunkunam a bribery idiay estorya da bakes ken pag-ong a.” (I cannot recall that bribery part of the Monkey and the Turtle story.)
Franklin: “Apay ngay a saan mo malagip manong ket laklakayka met ngem siak?” (Why can’t you remember when you are older than I am?) (I assume that what he means is that in recent years, the story has not been told as often as it was during our childhood.)
Me: “Isu ngarud a diak malagip ta laklakayak ngem sika.” (The reason I cannot recall is because I am older than you are.)
CORNY JOKE AT THE BIOMETRICS
Franklin Regacho dropped by the office a while ago and we adjourned our meeting shortly after 12 noon. We then left together. As we were at the biometrics machine —
Me: “Diay KPH, agbibiometrics kayo met?” (Do you use a biometrics at the KPH?)
Franklin: “Awan. They trust us so much umanay diay logbook.” (None. They trust us so much the logbook suffices.)
Me: “Ket dapat met ket logbook laeng koma. No apay ket nga inembentoda ti bundy clock ken biometrics. (It should really be only the logbook. I do not understand why they invented the bundy clock and biometrics.)
Franklin: “Apay a kunam ti kasta, manong?” (Why do you say that manong?)
Me: “Wen a ta um-umaytayo met makilagbo isu a logbook. Apay um-umaytayo makibiomterics wenno makibundy clock?” (Yes because we are coming to makilagbo (a Cordillera equivalent for “to work”) so it’s should be logbook. Do we come to bundy clock or biometrics?)
***
Suggested new English word:
Patroll – the act of combing one’s online forums and weeding out barbaric comments
***
NAME OF PET
If we have a female cat or female dog, I will christen her MALU. Whenever I will look for her, I would say, “Where’s my PET MALU?”
OF MONDAYS AND SATURDAYS
Our niece Jeng Oliveras got married this morning in Tuguegarao City. I decided not to go because Mondays are busy days at the office and that’s specially today because there was a lot to attend to. Amboy Amoyen who I asked to drive for Florence could not understand why I was not going to the wedding. I told him that it is important that I be at the office at the start of the week. To drive home the point, I exaggerated as follows: “No kasano ti kinapateg ti Sabado kadakayo, kasta ti kinapateg ti Lunes kaniak.” (Mondays are as important to me as Saturdays are to you.) Amboy is an Adventist.
MAKITA KANTO LANG
When I went out tonight, I forgot to close the wooden door shutter and Friday took the opportunity to push the screen door and slipped out. When that happens during the night, I endeavor to catch him no matter what because that is the most dangerous time of day for cats in our barangay. There was one time when the hide and seek took around 30 minutes making me break sweat after a long while. As I was trying to catch him in the shadows, I threatened him: “Makita kanto lang.” (The moment I see you.) And that was when I remembered the nonsensical but funny rhyme which Bago young children sometimes recite:
“Makita kanto lang
Palapalen kat tulang.”
(The moment I see you
I will throw a bone at you.)**
