By Danilo P. Padua, PhD
Momshies is a colloquial word of endearment to mommies, or super mommies to some. The word was introduced by a local television talk show aired in the morning. It is hosted by three charming ladies but unlikely partners. It could become one of the most popular new words by the end of this year, 2017.
My cake at this time though is not the new word invention. It is about moms or super moms. I always hold in high esteem every mom who gives their best in taking care of their children or their homes. I particularly salute single moms who never flinch from their duties or obligations even if they are thrust unexpectedly into a single parenthood and amidst almost unbearable adversities.
I have known single moms who lost their husbands due to illness, accidents, war, parental interference in their domestic affairs, and separation due to husband’s indiscretion but they did not sulk. They did their best to raise their children by themselves successfully. But they had to go through untold hills, valleys and mountains of life sometimes on the verge of quitting. Quit they never did until they saw the smiley sun shining brightly on the horizon. The word is not a part of their vocabulary. What if something happened along their long struggle? It would be disastrous to their young children. Thus, all the help that can be given to these super moms should be provided. It’s good to know that there is a pending bill in Congress that addresses their plight. I just hope that it will not take another 15 years (that’s how long it had been sitting in congress) for its passage.
In many cases, moms bear the larger burden of raising their children, and even sometimes shouldering the obligation of feeding the family due to the immaturity or shenanigans of a useless husband. Yet they endure in silent solitude over the misplaced actions of their children or even their relatives.
Moms who never give up struggling and fighting for their children deserve not only commendations but respect of the highest degree from everyone. There are limits of course in what they can do. Whatever they can’t do is sometimes misunderstood by children creating some bitterness in their immature minds.
I salute mothers who have to forego their flourishing careers just to be hands-on moms to their children. This ensures that children will get the best attention, care and informal education that they can get. It’s difficult to do that but there are a lot of examples around for others to learn from. These moms believe in what Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis once said that “If you bungle raising your children, I don’t think whatever else you do well matters very much”. Moms who choose to prioritize their professional advancement over the personal attention that they could provide to their children will certainly be unable to happily enjoy whatever fruit of their work will bring. They will miss a golden opportunity to better serve the community in raising law-abiding citizens. Proving that women can do whatever men do is not a good attitude in this case. The thought should be that moms can always complement whatever their husbands do. That will not make them a lesser mortal than men.
Oftentimes, moms correct their children-in their words, attitude, and how they conduct themselves. Growing kids don’t always look at this with favor but would say, “why are you always seeing my mistakes, and not see the good things that I have done!”. They may have a point there but they entirely miss the fact that moms are there to correct what is not right, as they are still growing and developing. That is their mission. They conveniently don’t always point out the good points since they are already okay. Of course, there should be another time to praise.
The sacrifices, the care, the understanding, the long hours, the attention to details, the constant reminders of the mothers are enough reason to recompense them with love, admiration and respect. Not only once a year but every time there is an opportunity to do it. Giving flowers to moms as a sign of appreciation is good but it must be done as oft as practicable.
I would like to reprint what I shared in this corner some time ago about my mom. “…when somebody tells you that you are a mama’s boy, it would be nice to take it as a compliment although sometimes, or rather oftentimes, it has a derogatory connotation. Unless of course a man blindly or meekly follows any directive of his mother without regard to its sense!
I would like to confess that I am a mama’s boy! To me this is the least compliment that I could give to my mom. I learned from her so much, only because I always listened to her when I was growing up. She used to amaze me by telling us, her children who we were in terms of our feelings and how we react to certain things. She was studying us like a psychological teacher. Her constant admonitions, especially to us youngest three brothers who inevitably become entangled from time to time, using Biblical nuggets certainly instilled lasting impressions of good behavior for me, and of her character as well. She was the kind of mom who will do any sacrifice for her children. She was my guide, and even more as a mentor to me than my father ever was. She encouraged me to excel and comforted me when I needed it. I never heard her complaining about how hard life was, she just showed me that the only thing to do in times of difficulty is to plod on and do your best. She was the epitome of what we call, ilaw ng tahanan. She was the best mom I had ever known. I am proud to be called a mama’s boy”. My mom had gone beyond 13 summers ago.
Let’s give our moms our respects, our appreciations, our love while they are still alive!**
