By Hazel Rivera
There is a very thin line that separates these two noble responsibilities. Where exactly does one end, and the other begins?
As a parent and a teacher, I share my personal views on the matter. I am a mother of three, a grandmother of one. I love being a mother, and I love being a teacher as well. It is a challenging role, a rollercoaster of ups and downs, of hits and misses, but it is rewarding and fulfilling. As a teacher, I have had lots of good students. I admire them for doing good in school and in their classes, and I salute their parents for bringing up efficient children. Their future looks bright and promising.
Much has been written about success stories, it inspires hope and delight to everyone who reads it. The spotlight always shines on those who succeed. But did anyone stop and wonder what is happening on the other side of the story, too? About the struggles of the less efficient ones? The Unknowns and Unnoticed? How are they coping? Yes, this article is about them.
I experienced an unpleasant incident where a lot of youngsters – minors mostly – were directly involved. It was a matter outside school concerns, but an incident I was a part of. (Due to the involvement of minors, I can’t divulge details regarding the issue)
With the presence of some authorities, we met with the involved perpetrators (around a dozen kids), with their parents and their guardians. It broke my heart to realize a couple of them were my students a few years back. Most of them are still of high school age.
Apparently, as it turned out, these kids have something in common: they either belong to a broken family or from one with an absentee parent. I know such family situations don’t necessarily promote failure because I personally know a lot of successful people coming from such families. Some are even more successful than most of us. But in this particular case, these kids evidently shared such one common situation. I am not an authority on human behavior but it was easy to assume that their common situation seems to have drawn them to each other. They must have found comfort in their own similarities. A company where they felt accepted and not judged.
With these thoughts I silently observed them. Some tried to look tough while being questioned; others tried to appear unaffected and unconcerned; some looked sheepish and shy. But whatever act everyone was trying to put up, they were all undeniably scared. I hesitate to call them “ignored or forsaken.” I struggle for words to describe them because I see them as kids struggling to survive among equally disturbed and inadequate peers. “Lost bunch” seemed an appropriate term.
As I gazed at the sullen minors, seated beside their heavy burdened parents and guardians, I silently wondered who was exactly at fault with regards to these kids’ untoward and misguided behavior? Who fell short in their role to guide them? Was it the teachers, or the parents? I don’t disregard peer pressure as a huge contributing factor to the kids’ going astray or their bad behavior but aren’t we supposed to be guiding and teaching these kids?
I question myself, too. Looking at my former students, I wondered where my teachings went? What were the lessons I was able to impart to them? It was a depressing and disturbing thought. As a teacher, I try to go far and beyond my duties as an educator. As any typical teacher, I take time to connect with my students on other matters as well. Engage with them on a personal level in my effort to make them feel cared for and special. I thought I was doing a good job… Now I have my doubts.
This left me with a gnawing question: Where is the boundary of the responsibilities of being parents and teachers? It is the teachers’ responsibility to teach and educate the children/students, to provide rational understanding and practical know-how to their tamed minds. It is a teacher’s role to mold and motivate them towards a better future. To instill intellect, understanding, and information children need to make them better equipped to handle whatever challenges life may bring. These must be done with utmost diligence and compassion. It is imperative that we teach them right.
But a person’s attitude and character is their individual responsibility. These children will soon develop their own. On their own terms, in their own time. But for now let us do our roles as parents and teachers so they will not go astray. I hope and pray it isn’t too late for these children, for surely we want the best for our children/students.
Now I go back to my earlier question. As to the line that separates parents’ and teachers’ responsibilities, where does one end and the other begins? I guess the line is too thin it is almost invisible. It can actually be ignored and crossed because it is a responsibility we share. Teachers are children’s second parents, and parents are children’s lifetime teachers.
Let us join hands to make us effective. Not only for their sake, but for ours as well.**
