by Rev. Canon David B. Tabo-oy
Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.” “Come,” he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:25-,31 NIV
Almost six months ago I underwent angioplasty to clear three blocked arteries in my heart. This was one of the options offered by my cardiologist for me to postpone my date with death. The other option was an open heart surgery commonly called heart by-pass which I immediately erased from the options presented by my doctor. As I was prepped for the procedure many things percolated in my mind preceded by ‘what if’. I was afraid. In our Gospel story the disciples were afraid. Peter was afraid. Fear. This human mental condition according to the dictionary is a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined; the feeling or condition of being afraid. I am sure all normal human beings have in one way or another experienced fear. I think this very poignant story reminds us that fear is so basic to who we are as humans, it goes all the way back to the beginning of time. To be human is to experience fear.
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The disciples have been struggling to keep afloat for a while. The text says that it is not until the fourth watch of the night that Jesus decides to come to them in the middle of the sea. Thus, it is the early morning hours (3 a.m. to 6 a.m.), while it is still dark, that Jesus makes his appearance. The disciples, though, do not initially recognize Jesus in the midst of the chaos. They have been alone with the threatening waves for hours. They are probably tired from being up all night. In the midst of this crisis when their energy reserves are spent, Jesus reveals himself to them. In this exhausted state with the roar of the waves and the spray of the sea drenching their boat, they mistake the Lord of creation for a phantom. Given the common perception of the sea as the locus of evil and chaos, it is hard to blame them for initially mistaking the figure of Jesus for a specter of death. After all, it is they who have rowed into the middle of evil’s realm, and the waves are indeed attacking them. Over their cries of fear, Jesus calls to them, “Take heart, it is I; have no fear” (15:27). Jesus reveals himself — not simply as Jesus, their teacher, but as “I AM.” A more literal translation of this sentence would be, “Take heart, I am, do not be afraid.” This self-revelation is a disclosure of Jesus’ source of power. For Matthew’s Jewish Christian audience, Jesus’ words echo the divine name: I AM. Jesus demonstrates that he is Lord of the wind, waves, water, and sea, all of which are characteristic of chaotic elements in nature. Quite appropriately then, we also notice that at the end, instead of just wondering what sort of person Jesus is, the disciples worship him as Son of God.
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Fear is actually an attack on our faith in God. We are pressed in heart and mind to let go of our trust in God when facing challenges. Fear robs us of the confidence we can have that God is with us and will help us deal with every issue. I doubt there is a person on earth who can say that he or she is not a victim of being fearful at times in life – even the most faithful Christian can become terrified – but that is not God’s will for us. We may well be in great danger or trouble, filled with sadness and apprehension. But Jesus comes to us in the middle of all that torment and says, “Take courage; don’t be afraid, I AM.” And no matter what disaster has come our way, our faith can focus on Jesus.
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As the chief cardiologist insert the catheter in my arm, I summoned all the faith I have but can only pray these simple words, “Lord have mercy. Please save me. But not my will but yours be done” over and over until the procedure was done in 90 minutes. Most people think that priests are invincible and possess great faith that can move mountains or the strength that is superior than any other person. Fear has vicious nature about. It does not care who you are and where you are. Fear can attack children, teens, young adults and everyone else into old age. And yes, even a priest like me. But God reminds us that we have God’s power to confront fear.
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We are like the supposedly experienced paratrooper who was asked how many jumps he had to his credit. He responded, “Twenty-five.” Then, with his head held low he added, “Actually, it was only one.” He was then asked, “Really, only one jump?” He answered, “Yes, I only jumped once, the other twenty- four times I was pushed.” Sometimes God will push us in order to help us overcome fear. He wants us to know that the power to overcome is present because He is present. He is like a father standing in the pool beckoning his child to jump into His arms. The child is reluctant. At last, the child sees the father’s large, strong arms and smiling face, and jumps. There is no way that the Father is going to let the child drown! That is how God wants us to trust Him in every situation.
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We will not always be perfectly faithful. Doubts will creep in, but the important thing is to recover from those doubts and return to a place of faith. Our faith is strengthened and sustained by our relationship with God and nurtured by participating in our life in Christ through things like reading scripture, praying, and attending worship. Speaking of, each Sunday when we confess our sins, we admit that we don’t always get everything right, but we repent and recommit ourselves to walking in God’s ways once again. Repent and recommit: This is the nature of the Christian life. Peter is a prime example of what it means to live a life of holy imperfection. He has misunderstood before, and he will misunderstand—and even deny—again. But today, we see him refocusing on faith (with a little help from Jesus, of course). Watching his journey reminds us of our journey, a journey on which we can—and should—choose faithfulness. And a journey on which we, just like Peter, repent, recommit, and refocus on a faithfulness that comes from the knowledge and love of Jesus, through whom we have experienced the grace of God time and time again.**
