By Estanislao Albano, Jr.
business alive?)”
POSER
Our nephew Raffy came to the house awhile ago noticed that mosquitoes were falling dead or stunned on the floor. I told him it’s the incense mosquito sticks I bought from the store of Mackenzie Dilla.
Raffy: “Imbag man. Adu ti peke ngay nga kasta.” (That’s good. A lot of that being sold are fake.)
Me: “Apay mafake ti naggapu China?” (Can you fake something from China?
Raffy: “Ay wen ya.” (Yeah.)
VERY EASY TO REMEMBER
The jug from whence we draw our drinking water is almost empty and time to get the alternate jug filled up.
Me: “Nganngani maibus nagyan daytoy jug. Palagipmonto man ta innak gumatang.” (The jug is almost empty. Remind me so I could go buy.)
Florence: “Saan a masapul nga ipalagip dayta. No mapanka koma ngaminen?” (There’s no need to remind you about that. Why don’t you just go now?)
Me: “Makaturturogak pay ngamin. Dayta pannaturog ti saan a kasapulan nga ipalagip ta saan malipatan.” (I feel sleepy. Sleeping is something one does not need to be reminded of because it cannot be forgotten.)
FUNERAL BUSINESS
Awhile ago at the TAMPCO Executive Committee meeting, one of the agenda was the operational plan of the cooperative for 2019. In the process, strategies on how to improve the business of the TAMPCO Funeral Care, the funeral business of the cooperative, was discussed.
One of the strategies recommended was to make the prices of the services of the funeral service “competitive.” Nobody thought it was a joke when I commented that it would be bad to set the rates too low because the competition may have their own funerals.
Anyway sometime back in the early 2000s while the Board was in the process of deciding whether or not to go into the funeral business, the average deaths among the cooperative’s members in a year was cited. It was assumed then that TAMPCO members who die were captive clients. One director who was opposed to the proposed business allegedly asked: “Apay umanay dayta a mangbiag iti funeraria?” (Will that be enough to keep a funeral business alive?)
NEW LAW UPSETS FLORENCE
Before going to school this morning, Florence was expressing dismay over the passage of a new law which, according to her, prohibits teachers from scolding students. She said that the law makes teachers all the more helpless against bad and disorderly pupils coming after the ban on corporal punishment. She did not answer when I asked: “Di awanen nabati nga ungtan ti mamaestra no di dagidiay lallakayda?” (So there’s no one left for teachers to scold except their husbands?)
FINALLY, OUR KEY TO WEALTH?
I went into Florence’s flower garden awhile ago and saw that some of the orchids she bought from the vast orchid farm we dropped by in Bulacan have bloomed.
Me: “Baket, no umad-adu dagita a ket bumaknang ta met a ania?” (Wife, if the orchids will multiply, we would also get rich, won’t we?)
Florence (with a withering look): “Pumanaw ka dita.” (Get out.)
STRENGTH TO FABRICATE STORIES
Yesterday morning, my brother-in-law Mike came to the yard early for some business with Florence. With the serious talk done, Mike brought up the story I told him about Florence which amused him no end. Florence of course vehemently denies that the story is true. After Mike left, I told Florence I was going in to eat (she usually eats only pandesal for breakfast). She replied: “Wen inkan ta adda ipigsam nga agimbento ti estorya.” (Yes you go eat so you will have energy to invent stories.)
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