By Atty. Antonio P. Pekas
Brooding was what preoccupied me for several days about two weeks ago. I thought I was about to die. Why were misdeeds in the past kept surfacing in my mind? Big sins, small sins and all sorts of misfeasance and malfeasance. There was however one thing that was like a broken record playing again and again in my mind— the loan agreement I drafted for a money-lender client about 20 years ago. She charged 5% interest per month. The borrower mortgaged a titled land of almost a hectare as security for the payment of the loan. The lot was in La Trinidad, Benguet and was very valuable. More so now. The borrower just needed a million pesos which was a fraction of the value of the lot.
And what was wrong with that? The interest was immoral. What our Supreme Court considered as OK in one decision was 10% per annum. Five percent (5%) per month would be 60% per annum. Indeed it was immoral.
How about 2% per annum? Perhaps that would be in the borderline of what is decent and immoral. If the collateral as security for payment is a very good lot then the interest should be lower.
So what was my sin in the transaction? I knew the interest rate was immoral. I did not have to review the Bible to know that. But then I just went on to facilitate the transaction. I was thinking more of the attorney’s fees than what was proper. Well, I badly needed money at that time but in hindsight that was not a valid justification. At that time I sort of justified my role with my intention to discuss the matter later with the client (rather, I should have lectured her) regarding the immorality of her line of business and the comeuppance she was accumulating because of it. But to be frank I was really thinking of the attorney’s fees. It was a time of weakness on my side.
Discussing matters with her never happened as she changed me (a big relief) as her lawyer along the way. Also along the way she lost everything she had consisting of several lots and her husband became almost bedridden. God however was still kind that she retained her house and lot and her kids were somehow able to go through college on scholarships (Parts of their periodic stipends took care of buying food for the table.) Now, being dead broke is a reality she has to contend with everyday.
So there I was one Sunday morning brooding about my role in that transaction but more so on my failure to “lecture” on the client, for I knew better. Yes, I have seen many immoral money lenders or their loved ones contracting untreatable or terminal diseases, and I have heard from reliable sources of more cases validating such consequences.
It was then that I recalled hearing the day before a nasty sound on the front suspension of our daily driver car. I had to remove the right side tire to see what was the matter. To loosen the lug nut of the tire, it could have been easy for me to have just fixed the L-type tire wrench on the nut and then stepping on it. But I stupidly opted to put the wrench the other way around so I had to exert effort to pull it upwards while my body was bent and a bit contorted. In the process, I suddenly felt pain on my lower back. I could still move but the pain was really bad.
The next morning, I could hardly get up from bed. My hips and lower back were so painful and stiff. I managed to go to the bathroom but bending and lowering my body to sit on the toilet bowl involved great effort, suffering a lot of excruciating pain and a lot of cold sweat. Worse was the thought criss-crossing my mind, “Will I be paralyzed from the waist down?”
With great pain I got back to the bed, and, oh! How I prayed. “God, let me suffer for my big sins, small sins and all sorts of malfeasance and misfeasance through good deeds.” Oh, yes, I really prayed. When you are in such a “fox hole” with your health or life on the line, so many bad thoughts surface. I would rather die than be paralyzed. The only consolation then was it was me suffering. It would have been really bad if I was suffering looking at my son or wife wasting away due to a terminal disease while I was in fine fettle.
I chanted it again and again. “God let me pay for my sins with good deeds.” One of the good deeds intended was to keep on publishing this paper for the common good. Skewer the bad politicians, abusive bureaucrats, and the rich and famous for their sins and exploitative actions and tendencies. I promised for this paper to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. The key phrase is “for the common good.” I also promised to practice law the ethical and proper way. No more being sneaky.
After a few days from that painful morning, I continuously became better. I could drive and walk around two days later. In a week I was normal again. I could afford to be funny again. I recalled what then President Joseph Estrada told a foreign lady journalist who asked how was his health after his knee operation: “Everything above the knees works.”
I can also say the same thing.**
