By Sophia Angeline G. Delantero, UC student
I miss the days when I was someone else. When people around me did not know what I was capable of doing. When I did not know what I was capable of doing.
Along the ocean waves and dusty mountains of Cagayan Valley or the crowded market of Rosario, Pasig City, these places have witnessed the dullness of my entire pupil as I thrived to not be known by many for in fact I was just a kid trying to thrive for myself and not for anyone else. However, as I grew older, I was able to discover the competencies I have within the flowing veins in this body and all the abilities I have to offer to show nothing but excellence, to the world, and maybe, once again, for only within a personal reach of interest.
Those competencies were not naturally born, it was a series of disappointments and perhaps a series of unwanted learning but learned it anyway because I had to. Not that a reader like you cares but I have a weird fixation in learning a game or whatever thing I find cool like solving a Sudoku or solving a Rubik’s Cube, and in order to reach a satisfaction, I try to master it overnight. But the thing is, that satisfaction never came.
I have eventually acquired the knowledge that a person will never come into the spectrum of satisfaction no matter how high an achievement is. It was only that fleeting time of sacrificing became exciting and worse, less than that.
This week, people learned that I am one of the students who will be awarded with Latin honors, some of them praised me, some of them clapped for me, and some of them were kind of wishing they had the same title, but what they do not know, I was only playing the art of Sudoku. I figured out the grids and played my way through the lines and fortunately passed through the rows and columns. I was so hungry to win the game. Thus, here I am reaping all the numbers I have planted throughout college.
Notwithstanding, I only smiled for a few seconds and thought about what game should I play next?
For I know we always strive for the better outcome, but this diminishes the purpose of living a life that is worth living as we are only chasing the dreams and once that we live within it, it loses its capacity to make an individual ecstatic and elated, it loses its value, it loses its worth and cause.
This means that once you have filled every empty box, there is nothing left to solve.
This is the part that winning feels so much like losing.**
