By Penelope A. Domogo, MD
One time, I and my children were in a wedding reception. In traditional Igorot weddings, receptions are big crowds because it is open to everyone. To show our full support to the nakasar and menpakasar, I told my children and ap-os that we give our greetings to the bride and groom together as a family and have a picture with them. But my son said, “Drained ang aking social battery” and didn’t come with us until later.
The term “social battery” is a relatively new term (around 2010s) but the idea behind it is something people in both villages and cities have felt for generations. We have heard the words “mental fatigue” and “emotional exhaustion” in the past. A social battery simply refers to the amount of mental and emotional energy we have for interacting with others. Just like a phone battery, it can be full, partially charged, or completely drained.
Every person has a social battery, but its size and recharge speed differ. Some people feel energized after chatting with neighbors, attending community events, or working in groups. Others enjoy company too, but only in smaller doses. Thus we have the terms extroverts and introverts. Extroverts thrive in the company of people while introverts are happy with a small circle of friends or even just by themselves so we also call them loners. In real life, most of us fall somewhere in between. A farmer after a long day in the fields, or an employee after hours of meetings or after a busy family reunion may both feel equally exhausted by more conversation.
Our battery is affected by many factors. Physical health and age play a major role. Age, lack of sleep, poor nutrition, dehydration, or illness can drain social energy quickly. Mental stress is another big factor. Worries about money, crops, jobs, exams, or family responsibilities leave less emotional room for friendly talk. Even positive events like festivals, weddings, or city celebrations can be tiring when they involve crowds, noise, and long hours.
Culture and environment also matter. In rural areas, social life is often woven into daily routines like greeting neighbors, having leisurely coffee or tea, helping one another. In cities, interactions may be more frequent but less personal, such as “Hello, goodbye” in crowded buses, restaurants, offices, or markets. Both settings can drain the social battery in different ways: one through familiarity, the other through constant stimulation. With the many weddings and other events this past Christmas season, my social battery had to be recharged often. When am in Baguio City, even just wading through the crowded sidewalks and crossing congested streets in the central business district quickly drains my social battery. Rural life, on the other hand, unfolds in slow motion so they are gentle on our battery.
The problem arises when we ignore our social battery. Pushing ourselves to be social when we are already drained can lead to irritability, headaches, anxiety, or a desire to withdraw completely. Over time, this can harm relationships and mental health. On the other hand, isolating ourselves too much can also be unhealthy, leading to loneliness and depression. Balance is key, which is hard to do if you do it alone. And this is where the indigenous Igorot communities support and protect people as a group. Before and/or after a big event like mass weddings or after harvesting and planting rice, there is “ubaya”/ “tengao” or rest day or days. Furthermore, after holding a “dawak” (traditional wedding celebration) or after a death in the family, the immediate family members are expected NOT to attend social gatherings for a time, usually a year. The elders say “Baken ka kedkedeng.” translated to “You are not alone”. This means, it is okay if you don’t attend this wedding or wake because there are other people who will and the even if you are absent, the event will push through. See how traditional communities care and give time for people to recharge.
Recharging your social battery does not always mean sitting alone quietly or sleeping. In traditional Igorot communities, “ubaya” meant time at home for shelling peanuts or beans, gisgisto (head reflexology), etc. For some, quiet activities like walking especially in open air with many trees or plants, gardening, praying, meditation, going to mass, reading, or listening to music help restore energy. For others, meaningful one-on-one conversations or time with trusted family members or friends can be recharging rather than draining. The important thing is to observe what truly helps you feel calmer and energized.
Understanding your social battery, and respecting that of others, is an act of good health. You don’t have to be present in every social gathering or event. When we allow ourselves rest without guilt and social connection without pressure, we protect both our mental and physical well-being. Whether you live among open fields or crowded streets, listening to your social battery is a simple but powerful step toward a healthier life.**
