By Atty. Antonio P. Pekas
Many moons ago, corporate cases were being tried by the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC). Thus, one hot early afternoon I had to rush to the SEC main office at Greenhills, San Juan, Metro Manila for a trial scheduled for 2:00 p.m. and I thought I was lucky to be the last to get into a jam packed elevator car before its door was closed to start it short journey to the 6th floor. Then somebody silently farted and the smell was so bad everybody was holding his/her temper while emitting sounds hghhh, hghhh ….. Even the guy who farted was feigning contempt and indignation otherwise it would have been a giveaway as to his identity. That is the good thing about farting silently in an enclosed area. No one would know who was the guilty party.
During the early days of this paper, we used to ride a convertible (top down) which was a replica of a 1930s Bently. Back in those days they looked almost similar except for some details ordinary mortals would be hard put to identify. Thus the Bently looked like the Jaguar convertible, and was not so different from the Mercedes Benz 540K convertible except that the Benz was massive with huge and long beautiful fenders, whose front ends were llike massive bell bottoms.. That was the car where Hitler would be chauffeured in, standing by the front seat as he would wave to the humongous crowds lining both sides of the street. He would salute “Heil Hitler” and the crowds would be ecstatic, rather afrenzy.
As we found out, the good thing in riding a convertible is that, at considerable speed, even if you farted loud, it would not have been heard. So you don’t have to hold it back. And no matter how smelly it could have been that could have made noses twitch, the smell would be immediately blown by the wind to kingdom come..
And the result of farting is really good. You get relieved.
Then there was this OVERHEARD/OVERSEEN of this paper not so long ago. It showed a caricature of a chubby fellow who was about to bend over and there was that drawing of a billow of fart from his butt. Then the benefits of fart were enumerated including the scientific reasons behind these. As revealed, smelling of fart prevents dementia among other things. I forgot the chemical in fart that brings about this.
Fart therefore is no so bad after all.
How about cough or coughing? There was nothing bad about coughing as long as you had a handkerchief to cover your mouth, or you directed your cough away from others, especially their faces. Even if you coughed inside an elevator (car), it would have been casually taken as a necessity.
But now coughing would have COVID-19 written all over it. People will not just look at you with mild contempt. Dagger looks from all over would be directed at you. You might even be lynched.
So the world has turned upside down. Fart now is favored over cough, by a mile.**
During the early days of this paper, we used to ride a convertible (top down) which was a replica of a 1930s Bently. Back in those days they looked almost similar except for some details ordinary mortals would be hard put to identify. Thus the Bently looked like the Jaguar convertible, and was not so different from the Mercedes Benz 540K convertible except that the Benz was massive with huge and long beautiful fenders, whose front ends were llike massive bell bottoms.. That was the car where Hitler would be chauffeured in, standing by the front seat as he would wave to the humongous crowds lining both sides of the street. He would salute “Heil Hitler” and the crowds would be ecstatic, rather afrenzy.
As we found out, the good thing in riding a convertible is that, at considerable speed, even if you farted loud, it would not have been heard. So you don’t have to hold it back. And no matter how smelly it could have been that could have made noses twitch, the smell would be immediately blown by the wind to kingdom come..
And the result of farting is really good. You get relieved.
Then there was this OVERHEARD/OVERSEEN of this paper not so long ago. It showed a caricature of a chubby fellow who was about to bend over and there was that drawing of a billow of fart from his butt. Then the benefits of fart were enumerated including the scientific reasons behind these. As revealed, smelling of fart prevents dementia among other things. I forgot the chemical in fart that brings about this.
Fart therefore is no so bad after all.
How about cough or coughing? There was nothing bad about coughing as long as you had a handkerchief to cover your mouth, or you directed your cough away from others, especially their faces. Even if you coughed inside an elevator (car), it would have been casually taken as a necessity.
But now coughing would have COVID-19 written all over it. People will not just look at you with mild contempt. Dagger looks from all over would be directed at you. You might even be lynched.
So the world has turned upside down. Fart now is favored over cough, by a mile.**
