By Danilo P. Padua, PhD
During my elementary and high school days, it was common to hear that a mother is the Ilaw ng Tahanan; the father, the Haligi ng Tahanan.
And that was clear. The mother “ruled” the house, the father provides the needs of the family and rule an unknown realm. The wife became the housewife, toiling in the house almost from dawn to deep in the night; taking care of children and husband, cleaning, cooking, laundry, ironing, washing dishes and even feeding cats and dogs if they have such pets, etc .
The work that they were doing was the job for 3-5 people! Can’t blame them if they can not even freshen themselves up before the arrival of the working husband, or don’t have the mood to do extra work late in the night. To make matters worse, the hubby seem just to take those things for granted, and may not even feel the huge, seemingly insurmountable burden heaped on the frail shoulders of his wife. Ergo, the hubby obnoxiously seeks another flower to sip another type of nectar.
The housewife was so supportive of her husband such that when the hubby climbed the ladder of success, she was partly credited for such thus, she was primarily the one behind the adage, “For every successful man, there is a woman behind”. That may have meant also that there is another river that the man was wading through!
Back then, women generally composed the minority of the employed workforce. But even if they were employed, they were still expected to do most of the household chores. Those were the times though when children were more disciplined, more respectful, more responsible, and had shown greater accountability of their deeds or misdeeds. In short, the housewives were the epitome of sacrifice, perseverance, patience, and overall good work.
I once had a co-professor at BSU who resigned from her well-paying job to become a full time housewife and devote her time to her growing children. Needless to say, her three children grew up to become fine Christians and excellent professionals. One can not help but to greatly appreciate the professor turned housewife.
Among others, I think there are now more women than men in the employment field, considering that for every 100 males, there are more than 120 females in our population.
With the changing times, more assertive women voice, need to cope up with increased financial demand like bills, and seeming equality among men and women, one hardly hears anymore the Ilaw ng Tahanan, and Haligi ng Tahanan thing.
By necessity or choice, a new paradigm is in place. Less wives became housewives and more husbands are becoming househusbands. This became a gradual reality starting in the 1970’s when Pinay domestic helpers were first deployed internationally.
At first, househusbands were shy in being exposed as such for fear of being ridiculed. They assumed much of what a housewife normally does in a day. In denial but in time, they were already very vocal about their lot. Househusbands however, can only approximate the efficiency of housewives in running a well-appointed home.
When I retired from the government service recently, there were a lot of times when I tended the home. There were no young kids to care for, except one who also eventually transferred to another province for her schooling. Naturally, I did the home chores since we had no househelp. I found out that just cooking, washing the dishes, sweeping the floor (and not even wiping) and the small yard, and feeding the pet dog and cats took all of three hours. No laundry washing, no ironing of clothes, no cleaning the toilet or bathroom, no dusting, no fixing of things, etc. And no rest, by the way. What more if there are kids around pestering you, and giving you fits from time to time! It was almost a thankless job.
Full time housewives should really be highly appreciated. It might even be a very welcome idea if she is given an “allowance” for her to spend as she liked-but being careful not to unwisely spend it. That holds true also for househusbands. This is just a little way of showing appreciation and recognition of what she/he is doing.
We should not forget though that in the Bible, the husband is really the provider for the family, and the wife is really the one holding the family together. That’s the logical and sensible order set before us. The husband and wife can share the burdens though. It’s a matter of fully appreciating one another’s contribution for the family.
I don’t know if there are really husbands who prefer to be househusbands.**
