Turning over a new leaf. New Year’s resolution. Reform.
So easy to say but too difficult to pull off in real life.
First and foremost is the honest to goodness acceptance that one needs to change. Again, easy to say. Usually, however, our ego or pride gets in the way. One might accept there is a need for a change but when the ego sets in, it is accompanied by a lot of qualifications. “Yes, I need to change but not just me,” is often the retort. Or, “circumstances have to change first or some event has to happen first.” Or, “I can not do anything.”
All of these are defenses not to change. There is no full acceptance yet of the need for it to happen. That can only happen if one’s pride is totally swallowed, hook, line and sinker.
In matters involving another party, the blame is usually thrown to the other party. Then a long-heated argument ensues. It would end in non-resolution of the thing in issue. Expectedly. Then the cold shoulders. It will fester. The result sometimes don’t stop in shouting matches. In some cases, things end up in domestic violence.
Behind all the angry sounds and fury is often the truth. That both parties are not saints. Both have some part in the origin and the resolution of the matter. Yet, acceptance is never easy, especially when emotions are running high or have gone beyond redemption. Cooler heads will be ignored or brushed aside.
If only some swallowing of pride happened. An impossibility when insecurities or superiority complexes rear their ugly heads. “Pride and prejudices.”
When all is said and done, sometimes its better to let things take their natural course. At the expense of some collateral damage to others, almost often innocent of the whole thing.
After all, life is never fair on the surface.**