By BetterHelp Editorial Team|Updated July 19, 2022
Checked Medically Reviewed By Tanya Harell, LPC
Secure social connections are key to human well-being. Genuine friendships are key to creating a social connection. Not everyone has a group of friends that they can count on when they’re feeling down. Some people don’t have large families either, and this can lead to individuals feeling like they’re all alone. If you don’t have any friends right now, or you ask yourself “Why don’t my friends like me?” — and it’s starting to get to you, then you could be feeling depressed about the current state of your life. It’s normal to feel down from time to time, but you don’t have to let this become your new normal. It is difficult to feel like “I have no friends.”
There are things that you can do to try to turn things around if you feel like you want to. Having no friends today doesn’t mean that you can’t have good friends tomorrow. It’s good to want to try to find a new social circle, and this could help you to enjoy your life more than you currently are. There are also other things that you can do for yourself that will help you to cope with your feelings. If you feel like “I have no friends,” keep reading this article, and our other list of articles at the bottom, to learn how you can feel better about your social life by making several positive changes.
Assess your situation
There is likely a reason why you feel like “I have no friends” currently, and it probably isn’t something that makes you unusual. Some people don’t have any friends because they moved to a new city and haven’t established new friendships yet. Others have just always been shy or introverted by nature, and struggle with their friend making skills or social confidence. Furthermore, many people experience certain life circumstances that have gotten in the way of establishing meaningful friendships, like isolation due to geographical or family situations. If any of these situations apply to you, please know that there is nothing wrong with this and that you still have great potential to make more friends in the near future.
In some cases, different types of people struggle to make potential friends because they struggle with anxiety or extreme shyness. If this is the case for you, then you might have some type of social anxiety disorder that could be preventing you from making social connections with others quickly. You might have mental health issues or something like being a people pleaser that holds you back in trying to meet new people. A disorder isn’t something that you should determine on your own, but you can talk to your doctor about things if you think that you might have social fears that go beyond just being a bit shy. There is no need to feel guilty or shame about having to reach out for help in life and trying to meet new people. Persistent feelings of “I have no friends” can sometimes benefit from treatment and guided steps from a professional.
It’s usually going to be healthy to assess your situation so that you can see where you’re at. Having no friends is starting to get to you, and you want to turn things around so that you can have the life that you want. This is going to involve honest introspection so that you can make particular changes. Some people recognize that they lack specific social skills when they take the time to think about things. These social skills might not come as naturally to you as they do to others, and you will want to take the time to learn. It’s good to better yourself, and you can get better at things if you feel like you want to pursue this.
Working on social skills
Working on social skills can help you to make friends and meet new people easier. If you get better at talking to others and empathizing with others, then you can find friends who will be able to enrich your life. Most people who have issues with developing social skills and meet new people are at a loss for where to start when they’re trying to learn. There are actually many resources available to you that can help. You can read books about developing your social skills, and there are also video tutorials online that offer free training on basic social skills to get you started. If you feel like “I have no friends,” there are resources available to make friends and enhance your lifestyle.
If your social problems stem from being too nervous to talk to people to be making friends, then you can also get the help of a skilled therapist. Therapists often help individuals with social issues to work on developing better social skills to make friends. This is seen as part of therapy, and it can make it simpler to establish bonds with others. A therapist can recommend things based on getting to know you and understanding how you’re struggling with feeling unloved or uncared for. Sometimes a therapist will be better at helping you through social anxiety because they can see things that you don’t recognize. For example, they may be able to help you identify your role in other peoples’ lives and how you’ve been downplaying your own importance, thus leading to you feeling isolated or lonesome. Or, they could help you identify a mental health condition, like depression, that is affecting your social abilities. It would be beneficial to work with a therapist if you feel like you need help with your loneliness.
Trying to make new friends
Trying to make new friends can feel a bit awkward at first. This is especially true if you’re a bit older person, and you don’t find yourself in typical social situations with people that you don’t know to make new friends. It’s not uncommon for a person to have a hard time making friends once they’re done with school because chances to meet people aren’t as frequent as they used to be to find plenty of new friends. This doesn’t mean that you should give up hope though! It’s not impossible for an older person to make new friends or to be intimidated. You can make new friends by putting in the effort, following these tips, and seeking out social situations.
Find people with common interests
Perhaps the best advice when it comes to finding new friends is to look for a person with similar interests rather than remaining hidden or secluded in your room. After all, no one makes friends from staying in the same solitary places all the time. You have things that you enjoy, and most people are passionate about their hobbies in making friends. If you can try to join groups that are based on things that you’re into, then it should be easier to make friends if you go to those. Of course, making a few friends is going to be tough if you have social anxiety, but you can work on things to get to the point where you’ll feel comfortable attending certain events. Someone who loves sports might meet new friends by attending games or volunteering at sporting events, and comic book fans might find one or two friends (or a new social life) at comic book stores and conventions. If music is your thing, then going to see a band that you like might be an excellent opportunity to meet people.
You have to put yourself out there if you’re going to have a social life and make new friends. A person can feel like there is too much pressure to build new friendships, but real friends are worth it in the long run. It’s fine to feel a bit nervous or anxious, and most people do when they’re talking to new people for the first time. Friendliness, just like anything else, is a skill that you have to consistently practice to get good at. You will, however, have a lot easier of a time talking to people if you know that you have things in common. Seeing a person wearing your favorite band’s shirt is an excellent way to start up a conversation. You can use the things that you have in common to get the conversation rolling, and you just might become friends due to the passions, goals, and plans that you share.
Seeking online friendship
Developing friends online is also helpful when you feel lonely and need to reach out to others to build new friendships. It’s still going to be good to make other friends that you can hang out with in person, but having online friends will also be very comforting and can help ground you in times of difficulty. Many people make good friends by using social media, and sometimes people form deep connections with others that they never wind up meeting face-to-face. Online friendships can be much more profound than many people realize, and you should definitely consider online relationships to be real friendships. Especially if you feel scared of rejection in real life, it might be helpful to start with a less invasive way of meeting people. Many people make new friends online, and it’s become a totally reasonable way to get to know others. Soon they become comfortable old friends, even if your social interactions and social events are all online. With a few good friends online, many people stop feeling lonely after a little while and begin to feel content with their own reality.
Joining an online community might help you to meet like-minded individuals as good friends. A person can enjoy chatting with people online and discussing the things that they love with each other, as well as their thoughts on certain things. There are all sorts of online communities, and it’s easy for anyone to chat about things whenever they have the time. This shouldn’t necessarily be seen as a replacement for seeking out friendships with local people, but it’s good to know that socializing online with new and old friends can also make you feel better. It is important to find a community open for you to meet new people, so that you can stop feeling so lonely and deserted.
Some great ways to meet people online include:
· Joining Facebook groups and exchanging ideas on there
· Discussing your passions on Reddit with like-minded people
· Playing video games online
· Use “friend dating” apps like BumbleBFF
· Find virtual (or in-person) events and gatherings on Meetup
Joining a gym
Joining a gym might be a good way to make friends, too. This could seem a bit unusual at first, but it isn’t strange at all to strike up conversations at the gym with strangers. Chit chat can turn into new friends. You could meet one or two people that you’ll connect with if you join a gym and try to go fairly regularly. Also, one of the reasons is that this will be a good opportunity to work on your physical health, which could make you more confident when talking to other adults. Consider joining a gym if you feel like it’s something you would be comfortable with.
Joining a church or religious group
If you’re a religious person, then attending church is an excellent way to meet people and new friends who share your world views or spiritual happiness. You can attend church and meet people that are your age. This could be a very natural way to meet people and form friendships. You’re going to sort of have natural friendships with these people due to belonging to the same church or religious group. Of course, if you aren’t religious, this idea isn’t going to touch on to your situation. Just know that it’s an option and that you shouldn’t feel obligated to seek out religion because you would like to make friends. It’s just one of many ways that people can make new acquaintances that will eventually deepen into true friendships.
One last idea is to look around at your coworkers to see if any of them might have the same things and interesting topics in common. People regularly become true friends through company social events at work. Unless you hate your job, you probably have shared interests to connect with many friends through your work. Other benefits of meeting a single friend at work is someone to enjoy small talk with and spending time together at work to make the job seem more enjoyable.
Speak to a therapist
Speaking to a therapist for professional help might be a good idea if you’re really struggling with having no friends. Some people who don’t have a support system in place start to withdraw from society, and they feel like they’re all alone or forsaken. You don’t need to feel panicked or rejected by your peers, and, in fact, there will always be people to support you. A therapist can be a source of strength for those who feel down. You can spend time talking about your issues with a therapist, get proper information on how to handle it, and they can work to get you to a better place in life.
Remember that there are many therapy options available to you as well—some people like going to see therapists at traditional offices. You could also consider online therapy options such as BetterHelp. Online therapy is very convenient, and it allows you to get help from the comfort of your own home, if you’re fearful about leaving the house, at an affordable price. Whatever type of therapy appeals to you the most will be a great option. You’ll always have someone to talk to, and you’ll be able to make progress with your social anxiety issues.**
